The Results of Mom's Testing

fter several months of waiting for appointments, driving miles to get to them, and talking with doctors, we have finally found out the truth: there is nothing that we can do about Mom's memory problems. She doesn't have Alzheimer's, but the confusion that she's experiencing cannot be cured and will not go away.

We went to a neurologist in November and found out that the memory problems were not caused by her strokes. He sent us for neuropsychological testing. That testing happened in March. A week later, we found out there is absolutely nothing wrong with Mom'smemory Her memory is actually extraordinarily high for a person her age. Then, we went back to th neurologist , who really didn't tell us anything more than the neuropsychology guy did.  The only thing he did say was that Mom needs continual supervision.

And that's what we're here for. :)

Humility

I like to be right as much as the next person. OK, actually, I have a horrible need to always be right. I'm hoping that living with Mom and her failing memory will teach me some humility.

Mom gave me a huge load of flannel shirts to wash a few weeks ago. I washed them and dried them... and found them a few days later when they got in the way of putting in another load! Of course, I didn't have time to do anything with them right then, so I put them in a basket. Then, in the course of the cleanout/remodeling, the basket got moved a few times. And hidden under other stuff. And then moved again. You get the idea.

Yesterday, I ran across it again and figured it was time to deal with it. (Clearly, ignoring it wasn't getting the flannel to fulfill its destiny of being packed in boxes for Goodwill on its own.)

So, I ran them through the dryer on the touchup cycle, draped them over my arm one by one, and brought the pile up to Mom.

"I washed these shirts for you a few weeks ago, Mom," I told her. "You said you wanted them washed, and then you'd sort out which ones you want to keep and which you want to donate. Can you go through them?"

"I will after awhile," was her reply. In hindsight, our exchange had "misunderstanding" written all over it.

I left to take Dad to an appointment. When I got back, all the shirts were in the dirty laundry pile. *sigh*

She said she thought I said the shirts had to be washed, not sorted for donation. I started to say something, that I'd clearly told her what needed to be done, but I decided against it. To tell her that would point out a deficiency that I know she feels awful about, and she can't fix. So, instead, I told her that I was sorry I hadn't been clear enough. And that I would try to do better next time.

I hope and pray that through this, I can learn to think before I speak and consider whether its important to be in the right. I'm sure I will find it often is not.

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